Judgment of Heaven is Waiting for Me

He's been using me. I've killed for him. Killed so many people. I have no way of knowing with absolute certainty, but this is most likely what happened to me during the several years I've forgotten.

I don't know how, but I eventually managed to resist his influence, and regained consciousness.  But not control over my body. I witnessed what I had become with no way of stopping it. Watched in horrors as my body killed on his command. Watched in horror as I became a lifeless husk in the oppressive darkness of the basement of the Rossman house when I was in between kills. Watched in horror as he . . .

After several nights which felt like a nightmare that never ends, I could feel his hold over me start to slip away. He had been coming to get me, to prepare me for another kill. He'd put that accursed mask, featureless save for eye holes, over my face and given me my knife, when he turned with a start at the sound of footsteps behind him. Dirk Rossman appeared from out of the shadows and approached Derek with malicious intent.

"No. I killed you." Derek turned and looked at me, pointing at the figure in front of us. "Liz, you know what to do."

I started to walk forward, compelled by his power, when a voice sounded from the darkness that said "this is my house, Derek. You have no power here, my brother." The voice spoke with such authority that I stopped in my tracks.

"I gave you an order, Liz." Desperation crept into his voice as he spoke. "You want your sister back, right? Kill him, and I can bring her back."

I remained still, for a second. My sister was gone. I had accepted that.  Trying to find her on Derek's suggestion is what led to him enthralling me. I slowly stepped forward as these thoughts filled my mind. As I raised my knife, the apparition of Dirk vanished, leaving only Derek and myself, now freed and again in control of my body.

I rushed him. Painted the basement with his blood. He tried to fight back. Couldn't. Died in terror to the object of his obsession.

He tried to speak. His last words aren't worth repeating.

Before I knew it, I was out in the park, watching as the house began to splinter and fall in on itself.  Without a Rossman to maintain it, the house could no longer exist. I turned to leave.

It was only when I got back to my apartment that I remembered that I was still wearing the mask and was covered in blood. I can hear sirens approaching; I guess someone saw me. I'm writing this all down before they get here. Whether they believe it or not, I accept my fate. 

Deepest Cut of all from You

I woke up in my apartment. I felt the exhaustion of someone who hasn't slept for days. I could barely stand, but I could hear the TV in the main room. I lived alone, so I had to see who was there.

 I opened the door and saw him. He turned to look at me, then got up from the couch and walked towards me, hands behind his back.

"You weren't supposed to see that, Liz. But it's fine. I did it for you."

"What are you talking about?" I had to fight to stay on my feet.

He brought his hands forward, revealing a blank white mask, which he held out as if offering it to me. "I couldn't have him taking you from me. I quite enjoy your company."

I turned to face away from him against my will. After I did so, he put the mask over my face, then went into the kitchen. He returned with a knife in his hand, which he then put into mine.

"Say my name, Liz. I know you know it."

"Dirk Rossman?"

"Oh come now, Liz. Dirk Rossman's dead. You saw him die. Say my name."

". . . Derek Rossman." 

Not Sure What's Real Anymore

I eventually came up to the iron gate that stands alone in a clearing I thought for a moment I could feel a strong energy radiating from it, an uncontrollable desire for the blood of innocence. Surely this was a malevolent manifestation of Dirk Rossman's power. 

I crossed through the gate. Before long I came upon a dead body. I wasn't suprized to see it, because this forest is the domain of a supernatural killer, but it was still an unnerving sight. I kept walking. I found another corpse, recoiled in shock, and kept walking.

The shock of finding the third corpse was less than that of the previous two, until I realized that I recognized this one. It was the body of the barista who gave me my drinks at the coffee shop.

The fourth corpse, the lady from the park who warned me about the Rossman house.

Every corpse after that was also someone I recognized. I began to understand that the reason the town had been so quiet was because most of the people who lived in it were dead, their bodies taken to this accursed forest.

When I eventually made it again to the clearing, I saw again the fields upon fields of corpses; Dirk Rossman's innumerable victims. There again was the man himself standing in the center, but he wasn't feeding, or whatever he does to his victims. He was facing me, and I could feel my sense of self slipping away. As I fought to expel his consciousness from my own, I could see a second person further away. Couldn't see who from that distance, but I could hazard a guess. 

The second person approached him, and his body tensed up, as if stabbed in the back. He attempted to look to see who had attacked him, taking his gaze off of me and breaking his hold over my mind. I tried to turn and run, but I couldn't bring myself to move. 

What was Meant to be is now Happening

I waited to make sure he'd actually left before attempting to enter the forest, to make sure he really wasn't following me. The last thing I wanted was to find him deep in the woods and not who I was actually looking for. When I was satisfied that he was no longer anywhere near me, I set foot into the darkness of the trees.

I know I'd been there before, but it still shocked me just how impenetrable the darkness around me truly was. I quickly came to realize that, if he was following me, I'd probably never know unless he approached me directly. Thoughts of him then flooded my mind.

I hate him. Well and truly hate him. My life would be infinitely better if he stopped existing. The day I never see him again can't come soon enough.

As I walked I could feel some sort of shifting in the atmosphere, and before long I knew for certain that I was, again, back in the woods where the summoning took place. I felt, not relief, but a strange sense of calmness, like I knew the area well enough to know where to look for my sister and what to look out for as signs of her presence. This was, itself, possibly cause for concern, but  I suppressed that thought as best I could; I had to focus on the task at hand. 

Here I am Again, on my Own

Arrived back at the park a bit before midday. Cold day, but clear skies. No one around when I got there. My resolve wavered; hesitation for a moment before I worked up the nerve to enter. A familiar sense of frightful unease washed over me when I stepped through the gateway, an unease which grew tenfold when I beheld that decrepit house on the far side of the park. My mine raced as my gaze lingered on that monument of decay.

He lives there, the supposed supernatural entity by the name Dirk Rossman, the one who took my sister and her friends, so I've been told. But they're not there, I know that much, or so I think.

The longer I stared at the house, the more I felt the burning of eyes staring back at me. Felt like he was watching me, no doubt eager to begin pursuing me again. I eventually turned towards the forest. 

They're in there, and I'm gonna find them.

As I stepped forward, I thought for a moment that I heard a voice calling my name and hesitated. I couldn't ignore it entirely, but I knew for certain that there was no one else at the park. When I renewed my motion I heard it again. I stopped and turned to see if anyone was there and I really was hearing something. 

It was then I beheld the form of the man from the coffee shop. I didn't remember what he looked like at all, but the second I saw his face I instinctually knew it was him. He was approaching me with a quickness that was concerning. 

"Haven't seen you in quite a while, Liz. What have you been up to?"

"Just living my life," I replied as nonchalantly as possible. I wasn't about to tell him I couldn't remember anything from the past several years. But knowing him, he probably already knew that. "What do you want?"

"Still with the aloof coldness, I see." He chuckled to himself as he spoke. "Playing hard to get even after all the time we've spent together."

Like I would've ever spent any amount of time with him more than was necessary for my searching for my sister. But the way he said it made my certainty of that fact falter ever-so-slightly; what if it was true? What if we really had been in regular contact ever since that horrible day we spoke in the coffee shop?

"I'm just here to find my sister. Don't follow me."

He smiled a wry smile that I didn't like, but made no effort to continue to accost me. Just waved a casual goodbye and turned and walked away.

To the Shadows of the Past

Phone rang after what felt like an eternity. It was my parents. I answered with trepidation, not knowing what to expect. Hearing mom's voice was comforting, though I still struggled at times to still the shakiness of my own voice.

When the call ended, I simply stared at my phone, tears of relief pooling in the corners of my eyes before slowly falling onto my phone's screen. Not alone. Hearing my remaining loved ones' voices brought a small but steadily swelling sense of, not quite confidence, but resolve, to make sense of my present circumstance.

I'm going back to the park. I'm going to find my sister and her friends.  

Each Moment's Like a Year

Looked around my apartment for any sort of clues as to what's been happening these past few years. Nothing conclusive, just some clothes I don't remember buying and the aforementioned pills. That I knew without a shadow of a doubt that they were painkillers could be significant.

While I looked, though, I couldn't help but notice the silence in the world around me. No sounds came from outside. Once I noticed it, I couldn't get it out of my head. Just quiet, oppressive quiet, as far as the ear could hear.

Before long I started idly gazing out the window, looking for any signs of life in the world outside. There were none. The street under the grey winter sky was completely empty. It was as if I were the only person to have ever existed. Couldn't help but back away from the window and drop to my knees, head in my hands as the world seemed to grow blurrier and blurrier with each passing second.  

And the Guilty will Bleed when that Moment Comes

Woke up today with a splitting headache. Took a pill or two that were by the bathroom sink in an attempt to dull the pain. Looked into the mirror, noticed the alarmingly dark circles under my eyes, wondered how they got like that.

Realized I don't remember anything from the past several years. Only the phrase 'black rose immortal' stuck in my mind, the title of this blog, which lead me to reread all the old posts that I apparently wrote. That I was looking for my sister who disappeared. That I had a frightful encounter with a supernatural figure. That I tried to escape and seemingly failed. Suffice it to say, I have no memory of any of that.

What's happened to me?